Do you often come across people with chronic anxiety? May be your friends and family members who often complain that they wake up with a weight on their chest every morning? These people are, in other words, dealing with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) and constantly break into cold sweats or burst into tears.
Anxiety is something that we all experience from time to time, especially before a first date or a big test. However, social anxiety is a completely different story; there are certain things that people say to anxious people that really hurt them.
Some people have extremely severe anxiety that prohibits them from doing normal day to day activities. Social anxiety is a horrible thing to experience, and it can be even more difficult to treat it. These people have an extremely hard time calling out for help because there is a growing stigma regarding their cases. Many people believe that anxious people are in control of their feelings, but this is not at all the case. Generalized Anxiety Disorder is honestly something that shouldn’t exist; it’s the direct result of emotional neglect, making people who suffer with this mental issue get used to it, thinking that it is normal.
Generalized Anxiety Disorder affects over 6.8 million adults or 3.1 percent of the entire US population, is characterized by persistent and excessive worry about a number of different things. They experience excessive anxiety and worry, often expecting the worst of every situation. This causes them to refrain from seeking help because they minimize their own issues. If someone with generalized anxiety disorder comes to you for help, never say these things to them. They legitimately hurt.
You want to help them but might be scared that one wrong move can make it worse. So here are 8 things to avoid saying to those suffering from anxiety; these statements may sound helpful, but they’re not.
“You Have A Lot To Be Grateful For!”
You mean to say, “Look at the bright side,” but what they hear is, “I’m not doing enough to appreciate the good things in my life.” They are usually already dealing with guilt and shame for not being good enough. They think they’re a burden to people.
So instead, say, “I appreciate you.” Appreciation is better than gratitude, and everyone, especially them, need to know that they are appreciated for being strong and dealing with their troubles.
“Maybe you SHOULD meditate,” “Maybe you SHOULD go see someone,” “You SHOULD not feel so sensitive about this issue,” or “You SHOULD not over think.” If you’re trying to help someone come out of anxiety, “should” is a word that most certainly NOT be used with them.
Never tell them what to do. Instead, ask them what they’d like to do. “What brings you peace?” “Would you like to go shopping with me?” “Maybe some meditation will help.”
Suggest them things to do to feel better, or ask them if they would like to do something that’d make them feel better. Leave the choice to them.
“Everything Will Be okay”
But how?
Instead, say, “Don’t worry, I am here for you.” Anxiety makes them feel isolated and lonely. Tell them you are there to help and you will always be with them.
“Just Be happy”
Aren’t they trying to be?
Anxiety is not just a matter of willpower and personal focus. There could be reasons or personal experiences that might have left them sleepless at nights.
Ask, “What Can I Do To Make You Feel Better?” Give them the option to pour their hearts out to you. Let them open up about what worries them and how you can help them.
“It’s All In Your Head!”
Yes, it’s a psychological issue, but it’s not in their control. This statement can actually make them feel helpless and crippling.
So switch to “Let’s go have some fun.” Take them out to a park or a pet shop. Help them de-stress by engaging them in fun activities.
“What Do You Have To Be Anxious About?!”
Are you trying to tell them that their stress and anxiety is meaningless? Maybe not, but that’s what they understand from that statement.
Instead, ask them, “How can I make you feel less stressed?” Let them do a little soul searching and understand what could actually work to make them feel better.
Agreed. But does it mean it’s their fault? How is their anxiety anyway connected or relevant to those with bigger or smaller problems? The statement can actually make them feel worse.
“Stop Feeling Bad for Yourself”
People are too often labelled as self pitying or seeking sympathy. It is okay to ask people for help and admit that there is something wrong with you. You should never persecute someone for admitting they aren’t okay. It is okay to not okay sometimes, I promise!
So try, “I’m really sorry to hear that. Do you wanna talk?” You will see how their issues and anxiety are valid. You can make them feel better by helping them share their distress with you. You never know, maybe there is a way you can help end this struggle for them?
So the next time you see someone creeping into the darker depths of blues, if can’t say the right thing, at least know what not to say to them.
Source : india.curejoy.com/content/7-statements-hurt-people-anxiety, awarenessact.com/8-statements-that-hurt-people-with-anxiety-2
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