How would you classify a person as a pathological liar? A pathological liar is someone who lies continuously and is dishonest without having a really logical motive or reason. It’s very stressful to have a relationship with someone who happens to be a pathological liar. You will end up questioning your own mind the reason and you may also be tempted to think that you are crazy.
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You should remember that a pathological liar will only lie for his own sake. His intention is not really to convince you that you are just crazy or illogical. Nor is his intention to manipulate and deceive you for his own selfish reasons. If you happen to be in a relationship with someone who will lie just because they are already anchored in their system, then it is likely that you are in a relationship with a pathological liar.
He may not intend to hurt you or make you mad, but it can still be very dangerous to stay in a relationship with him. You will end up feeling very tired, confused and frustrated. You will have to deal with many emotions in the midst of all the deception and misleading. You always make sure that you’re not in a relationship with a pathological liar. It might be better for you to just leave the relationship. Here are a few signs that pathological liars have:
1. They do a great job
You have probably already read a few articles and pieces that are designed to teach you to recognize some basic signs of whether you are dealing with someone who is lying to you or not. Maybe you have learned to notice whether their breathing is harder, whether they blink too much, whether they keep eye contact or not.
None of the above signs will apply to someone who is a morbid liar. They are really good at lying and they are aware of the very basic behavioural signs that a liar has. As a result, they have learned to do the exact opposite of what people normally expect from a liar. They will not really submit to the typical lies and make it difficult for you to recognize them.
Pathological liars are so good at behaving the same whether they lie or not. You could tell the truth and they will behave in a certain way. They could tell a lie and act the same way. You will never be completely sure about this.
2. They are always confident
One might think that pathological liars lie for a good reason. You may think that they are deliberately trying to deceive you and distract you from the truth. They actually convince you that what they are telling you the truth. You are determined to simply create completely different realities for yourself. They will try to convince you of their self-made versions of reality.
That’s why nothing really changes if you catch them lying. They are convinced that they are telling the truth all the time, even if they obviously live in an illusion. You may have caught them red-handed, but they still won’t believe anything you can say. In fact, they could even transfer the whole situation to you. They will look as confident as ever, even if they are already lying to you.
3. They can be very manipulative
A pathological liar can be a very manipulative. The dangers they pose with their lies can be very subtle. That’s why it’s really hard to see how manipulative they really can be. The reason the type of manipulative behaviour they engage in is so subtle that they don’t really intend to be manipulative. They may try to convince you of a fantastic lie or idea.
How to deal with a pathological liar?
If someone is lying to us, our trust in them can feel broken. Also being with a pathological liar can be very frustrating because lying doesn’t make sense. He can test trust in any relationship and make it difficult to even have a simple conversation with the person.
As soon as you notice a pattern, it hurts even more. If you think you are dealing with a pathological liar, you have options how to deal with the situation.
Don’t lose your temper
As frustrating as it is, it is important not to let your anger overwhelm you when you encounter a pathological liar. Always be supportive and firm.
Expect rejection
Someone who lies pathologically may have a tendency to answer with a lie first. If you confront them about their lies, chances are they will deny it. You can get angry and shocked by the charges. It’s hard to deal with being personally lied to, but pathological lies have nothing to do with you. The person can be driven by an underlying personality disorder, anxiety, or low self-esteem.
Be supportive
When you talk to the person about their lies, remind them that they don’t have to try to impress you. If you notice that the person is lying, do not attack them. You can question what they say, what might encourage them to stop the lie. You can discontinue the conversation.
Go away
If nothing changes and you have expressed your concerns, you may have to withdraw from the relationship. Lies can hurt deeply and the pathological liar must realize it.
Stay calm.
It is not worth your energy to argue with someone who lives in a fantasy world. Starting a conflict with someone who may not know what to do (or could become defensive) will not help anyone. Make sure you always stay cool and don’t deal directly with the lies.