Do you tell your significant other everything? Being dishonest or deceptive with your romantic partner is never ok. While a high level of honesty and openness is healthy in a committed relationship, there are times when keeping something to yourself can actually be kinder, smarter, or better for everyone. These secrets are just fine not to share with your partner.
Your brutally honest feelings about their family members. Every family has its own brand of crazy, but it’s not necessarily your place to tell him that you can’t stand his aunt or find his sister overly talkative and annoying.
If your family or friends aren’t the biggest fan of your partner, that’s not their fault and they don’t need to know that and hear all about it. It will just make them insecure and hurt their feelings, along with making them wonder if you might feel the same. Instead, talk to your family and soothe their fears instead.
How many people you’ve slept with. This is totally private information that belongs to you and you shouldn’t feel pressured to reveal if you’re uncomfortable with it.
The precise details of what you gossip about with your friends. He doesn’t need to know about your promiscuous bestie’s weekend in Vegas or that awful stomach flu you and your cousin both got.
Your alone time rituals. We all deserve alone time and privacy in that manner, as long as we’re not doing anything wrong. Whether it’s your beauty day at home or you just ate an entire large pizza in bed, that’s your knowledge that you don’t have to share.
Your friend doesn’t like them. What should you do when you adore your partner, but your friend doesn’t want anything to do with him or her? Definitely don’t tell your partner, especially until you figure out the cause of your friend’s disapproval. It could be a misunderstanding, or they could be seeing red flags that you don’t. Either way, telling won’t help the situation.
Your friends secrets. Close friends sometimes share their deepest secrets with one another, and even if you usually tell your partner everything, it’s totally fine not to share those secrets with him or her. In fact, it means you’re being a good and loyal friend and maintaining that person’s trust in you.
You blame them for your unhappiness. If you’re feeling unsatisfied, it may be partly due to your partner’s behaviour, but it’s not productive or helpful to lay the blame at their feet. Such a statement will only damage their self-esteem and further harm your relationship. Besides, at least some of your unhappiness may stem from your own life or a sense of disconnection from your partner.
Your ex was better. People break up for lots of reasons, and despite not wanting to be with your ex anymore, there might be things you liked better about them (their looks, their skills, their family). However, your current partner is not the person you should be telling about those things. It can breed insecurity and jealousy in your relationship.
You don’t feel attracted to them anymore. This is an incredibly hurtful thing to say to your romantic partner, because it implies they are to blame for your loss of attraction and attacks their self-confidence. Before blurting this out, think about how you’d want them to handle it if they felt this way about you and what might need to happen for your feelings to reignite.
